‘Life is difficult…’ Are the first 3 words M. Scott Peck writes in chapter 1 of The Road Less Traveled his best-selling book published in 1978. The question begs: why do we act like life is easy and we have it in control? Why religiously devoted observers hell-bent on an angelic image of themselves?
Why do we insist on looking good for others? Why are we afraid to let go and appear human? Why do we seek friendships and acquaintances who seem to have it all together? Does anyone have it all together? And what does having it all together mean?
We look for images of perfection whether it be our homes, yards, and cars, raising our children; at school, in sports, their grades. What might our neighbours think or say…? The quiet war we wage for first place or a close second trumps honesty and self-reflection.
We teach our children to be honest while we tell white-lies to the teacher, our boss or friend, even a sibling. Not to be a liar but to keep everyone happy and maintain an image. We condemn and judge others by a different standard than the one we have for ourselves.
Appearance trumps reality, the closed doors, behind walls, family secrets. Shame, guilt and being human is hidden rather than shared. When we are (all) struggling to be human. Sharing truth can shatter the mirage that others are doing better than us; while we are failing… falling, not keeping up.
We fail to see because we are blinded by our story; not the content; but a distraction of a story. This diversion keeps us from seeing the truth. We are stuck in our story, hiding our pain, hiding our insecurities, hiding our loneliness. Acting brave when we go outside into the big wide world full of smiles.
We forget to be human because we are afraid to be the only one. We need love and we need to feel connected, cared for, protected. The paradox lies in our hiding… Our truth of being scared, insecure, lonely. When we embrace our needy-insecurities and reveal them they lose power, when we hide them they gain power.
That’s worth repeating: When we reveal our insecurities they lose power — when we hide them they gain power.
This can be said for almost everything. The gentle Poet Rumi said: “Don’t hide your heart but reveal it, so that mine might be revealed, and I might accept what I am capable of.”
There is power in transparency and a pathway to freedom. To be you is going to be the hardest part of your life. Because we are distracted and most have an opinion of what you should be and how you should do it.
The articulate Emerson wrote: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Why are we afraid to be human is the query the enquiry the question resounding within, yearning to escape… Shakespeare penned: “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
To be honest takes courage; strength, and forging ahead on your own. Remember you will leave behind a mask and walls that once held you prisoner and a reminder: no price is ever too high for your freedom.
A personal quote from: Religious Rehab A Memoir “I was happy to fail and in that happiness , I was no longer afraid. I could finally be free to fail, to die, or to not be anything at all.”
