The last couple of months have been a time of processing and a huge download of information: book after book after book… On World History, social connections or lack thereof, writers and alcoholism, healing emotions and our wounds, a google engineers break-down of Big Data, and how we all lie. Yes all of us lie…
Addiction to just about everything, substance, internet, smartphones, shopping, gossip, and even addiction to judging others and ourselves. Who would have thought that was an addiction? And to push the boundaries further self-discovery is something we are scared of because we might have to change our lives.
Whether our lives are currently pathetic or ordinary we still resist change, even if it means excitement and earth-shattering connections. The fact that (Myth) is an essential ingredient to the building of large cities and empires. To the 21st Century were we face a tortuous battle to reconnect before we all fall victim to pharmaceutical drugs.
And some of the most creative minds seduced beyond rhyme or reason into a spiralling collapse of alcoholism. Whether its suicidal, a frame work of addiction or having our deeply wounded child-hoods maintain authority over our adult-self.
Addiction is complicated for a multitude of reasons: black versus white hardly applies to such a weighty topic. A guiding theme through-out my recent literary feast: addiction might be a choice we relinquish to a beaten self-esteem. Tennessee Williams described in an impassioned letter to his director in regards to Brick a character in the famous play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof…
“Why does a man drink: in quotes ‘Drink’. There’s two reasons, separate or together. 1. He’s scared shitless of something. 2. He can’t face the truth about something.”
Tennessee battled a life-long addiction with alcohol and a challenging childhood that left some scars. Addiction usually blames something else, something greater than the person, like its outside their control. Like its bigger than them.
The tragedy of life often reveals itself in the shadows, the painful and the unparalleled. Reading into the lives of others and studying our social structures along with history helps to fill in the gaps. Our fears and lack of connection with each other is not an individual problem but a global one. It effects us all and we all lose because of it.
The journey of self-worth or self-esteem has only been a 50 year old discussion. Early in the twentieth-century it was not only taboo to talk about yourself — but certainly taboo to talk about being a victim of sexual or physical abuse. Today there are social networks and organisations for victims of just about everything.
Something I learned: we spend more time talking about our wounds than healing them. Because let’s face it: getting on with life while carrying our wounds is not only challenging but insufferable. Healing becomes paramount if we hope to achieve our aspirations and our heart felt desires.
Which brings me back to my original comment: Our fear of change stops us from our journey into self-discovery. This fear holds authority over us and cripples our decision making process. Why do we believe in the inferior version of our stories? Why do we believe the voice of failure and isolation and lack of love?
Space opens when we challenge what holds authority over our lives. Whether its a parent, sibling, friend, culture, religion or a wounded past we are still clinging to. Let it go: holding on will hurt you… The only wound hurting us is the one we hold on to. The theme entails a fragment from each writer: we need each other; to hold, to love, to forgive and let go…
